The Stories We Tell: How Resilience Shapes Our Legacy (Not Our Mistakes)
- Liza Engel
- Mar 25
- 3 min read
Why reframing your narrative is the real superpower in leadership and life
What if your most cringeworthy leadership moment wasn’t a failure—but the making of your legacy?
Here’s what no one tells you about growth: it rarely looks like progress in the moment. It feels like indecision. Discomfort. Detours.
I started my university career studying genetics.
Then I quit.
I took a year off, worked, studied computer programming, and eventually returned to university to study business. From the outside, that journey may seem like youthful exploration. But at the time, it felt like uncertainty—maybe even failure.
Years later, I see it differently. And more importantly, I understand how that winding path shaped something far more important than a polished resume: my resilience.
Redirection Fades. Impact Doesn’t.
Let’s name something uncomfortable: most of us spend far too long obsessing over our perceived mistakes—especially in leadership. We lie awake wondering how that presentation landed, what that client thought, or whether we should’ve spoken up (or stayed quiet).
But neuroscience tells us this: the brain is not an archive. It’s an editor.
Emotionally charged memories—especially perceived mistakes—don’t stay vivid unless we keep replaying them. What lasts? The story we tell about the experience.
According to Dr. Dan McAdams's research on narrative identity, how we interpret events becomes central to who we believe we are. Because of neuroplasticity, when we reframe a moment as growth instead of failure, we reshape the emotional imprint of that memory.
Reframing isn’t spin. It’s science.
And resilience isn’t about bouncing back—it’s about rewriting the story while you’re still in the saddle.
From Endings to Evolution
Over the past few months, we’ve unpacked resilience—not as a buzzword, but as a lived experience. Through stories and conversations, we explored:
How endings—whether projects, relationships, or roles—can feel like failures but often mark the beginning of a more profound transformation.
How “staying in the saddle” isn’t about staying perfect but staying present and choosing to keep moving forward.
How the way we listen to ourselves—not just others—shapes the stories we carry and the impact we make.
Many of you shared how these stories resonated because they reflected real, lived moments. But more than that, they reminded us that resilience is deeply human. It’s not about always getting it right. It’s about choosing what version of the story you want to (re)live.
Leadership Lessons
Authentic leadership is shifting in a world of polished branding and performance metrics. It’s not about being flawless—it’s about being relatable and resilient in real-time.
This insight matters for professionals who lead conversations—on stage, in boardrooms, or across negotiation or meeting tables. Why?
Because your leadership isn’t defined by how perfect your message is; it’s determined by your ability to connect, recover, and reframe. Here’s how to start doing that right now:
Reframe the “Failure” Story. When you replay a moment that felt like a mistake, ask: What did I learn? Who did I become because of this? Speak that version aloud.
Stay in the Saddle. Resilience isn’t about avoiding the fall—it’s about wiping the dust off, adjusting your grip, and riding forward with new clarity.
Use Storytelling as a Leadership Tool. People don’t remember data points—they remember stories—especially the ones where you show your humanity and evolution.
Remember Your Impact, Not Just Your Errors. Most people won’t remember your slip-up in the meeting. But they will remember how you made them feel—seen, heard, or inspired. Lead with that.
Practice Narrative Rewiring. This week, choose one moment from your past that still stings. Write a new version of that story—one where you become wiser, stronger, and more yourself. This isn’t denial. It’s leadership by design.
Resilience as Narrative Power
This quarter was about resilience—but more than that, it was about the stories that shape us.
We get to choose which moments define us. We get to re-author our experiences in ways that build empathy, strength, and clarity.
So, if there’s one thing to carry into Q2, it’s this:
Resilience is not about being unbreakable.
It’s about being beautifully reassembled—story by story, choice by choice.
And what happens once we’ve reframed the past?
We begin to create from a whole new place.
Next quarter, we’ll dive into the fuel behind innovation, authenticity, and bold leadership: creativity. Not the kind confined to art studios—but the everyday kind that rewrites futures, reimagines work, and reinvents what’s possible.
What if your next great leap isn’t about doing more—but imagining differently?
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