The Calm Within the Chaos: How a Croatian Stranger Reminded Me of the Power of Kindness in Leadership

The Unexpected Lesson on a Narrow Croatian Road

It began like a scene from a film—those sunlit European roads that look charming until you’re behind the wheel, navigating stone walls with inches to spare. We were in Vrbnik, Croatia, a town famed for wine, sea views, and narrow streets better suited for whispers than vehicles.

Lured by the promise of a scenic overlook—and led astray by the ever-confident voice of Google Maps—we found ourselves inching into a passage far too tight for modern tires. There was no turning around, and the sensors stayed silent. The stone wall beside us waited patiently, just low enough to escape detection.

Then, as if conjured by the moment, a woman appeared. She stepped out from her garden with a gentle wave, face open, and smiled—not the smile of someone who’s seen this tourist mishap a hundred times, but one that offered calm—no sharp words. Just a warm smile, a quiet gesture toward the wall, and a kindness that dissolved the tension instantly.

Photo by Liza Engel

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The Neuroscience Behind Kindness and Leadership

This wasn’t just a travel anecdote but a real-time lesson in leadership and human connection. Neuroscience tells us that acts of kindness release oxytocin, the “bonding hormone” that fosters trust and emotional safety. This chemical shift not only lifts our mood but also expands our creative thinking and problem-solving abilities, especially under pressure.

Leaders who exhibit calm and compassion have a measurable impact on their teams. Research shows that emotionally grounded leadership reduces stress, sharpens decision-making, and strengthens team resilience. But of course, the real question is: how do we access that calm when we need it most?

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From Pressure to Presence: Four Ways to Unlock Calm and Creativity

1. Assume Positive Intent - begin interactions by believing others mean well. This simple shift creates space for openness and reduces unnecessary friction.

2. Maintain Composure Under Pressure - your tone becomes the team’s temperature. A calm presence invites clarity, especially when things get messy.

3. Practice Everyday Kindness - small, intentional acts of care can transform team dynamics, foster belonging, and build lasting trust.

4. Foster Psychological Safety - create environments where people feel safe to speak up, ask questions, and contribute ideas—without fear of judgment.

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Reflection and Invitation

This moment in Vrbnik reminded me of the quiet, transformative power of a single act of kindness—especially in high-pressure moments. As leaders and communicators, we can be that calming presence for others.

So, I invite you to reflect on how you can embody calmness and kindness in your next challenging interaction with any person or creature.

When we choose empathy over judgment, we don’t just navigate our own “narrow roads” with more grace—we lead others toward greater trust, creativity, and collaboration.

Kindness, after all, doesn’t just ease the journey—it expands what’s possible.