Should You Stay, Leave, or Let Go? How to Navigate Career Transitions—Planned or Unexpected
- Liza Engel
- Mar 17
- 4 min read
Have you ever questioned whether to stay in a job, a role, or a company? Maybe you feel stuck, drained, or uninspired. Or maybe, deep down, you wonder if it’s time to move on—but something keeps holding you back.
I’ve Been There.
For 15 years, I worked at the same company, moving through different roles, growing, learning, and making meaningful contributions. I was intensely loyal—to the work, the mission, my teams, and my leaders. For a long time, I served as the deputy to a leader who struggled with health issues. I stayed out of loyalty, out of a sense of responsibility to him and the team, and because, deep down, leaving felt… selfish.
But was I doing anyone a favor?
Even now, I can make a compelling case for why I left, why I could have left sooner, or even why I stayed as long as I did. But at some point, reflection turns into rumination. And while learning from the past is valuable, dwelling on it isn’t.
So, does that make big decisions any easier?
Maybe the real question isn’t always: Should I leave? Sometimes, it’s Why do I stay? And is my reason still serving me?
Loyalty: Strength or Stumbling Block?
Loyalty is powerful. It fosters deep relationships, fuels perseverance, and creates opportunities for long-term growth. However, loyalty without purpose can turn into an obligation. It can keep us in roles that no longer align with who we are becoming.
That’s why the most critical question isn’t Am I being loyal? But rather:
Is this still the right place for me to grow and contribute?
I used to believe resilience meant holding on no matter what—grit, perseverance, and staying the course. But now I see it differently.
True resilience is knowing when to lean in with fresh energy and when to let go.
So, how do you tell the difference? And how does your brain help—or sometimes work against you—when making that call?
Why We Resist Change
Our brains are wired to resist change, even in our best interest. Here’s why:
1. The Sunk Cost Fallacy
“I’ve invested too much to walk away now.”
We convince ourselves that staying will make past effort “worth it.” But growth isn’t about clinging to the past but investing in the future.
2. Loss Aversion
We fear losing what we have more than we desire something new. That fear can keep us stuck in situations that no longer serve us—simply because the unknown feels riskier than staying put.
Rewiring for Growth
Neuroplasticity—the brain’s ability to adapt and rewire—thrives on learning. When we stop challenging ourselves, our adaptability slows. If your work feels stagnant, the issue might not be the job itself. It might be that you’ve stopped growing within it.
The Moment I Knew It Was Time to Choose
For years, I ignored the quiet voice whispering, You need something more. I told myself staying was right—leaving would mean abandoning my boss, team, and commitments.
So, I did what I had always done: I stayed, worked harder, and pushed through.
But the feeling didn’t go away.
Finally, I asked myself a different question:
If I had to decide today, would I actively choose this—or am I just here because I haven’t left yet?
That question changed everything.
At first, my answer scared me. But as I sat with it, clarity emerged. I realized I had grown as much as I could in that role. The best way to honor my past loyalty was to step into my next challenge.
When I finally decided to leave, guilt came first. And then? Relief. Followed by the realization that I wasn’t walking away—I was walking forward. And by leaving, I was also making space for others to grow.
But I’ve also had moments when asking these same questions led me to stay—not out of fear, but with renewed purpose. Sometimes, reflection reminds us that we’re exactly where we need to be—we must re-engage in a new way.
How to Decide If It’s Time to Stay or Move On
If you’re at a crossroads, here are a few questions that might bring clarity:
Would I actively choose this today?
Am I holding on because I believe in it—or because I’m afraid of what’s next?
If fear weren’t a factor, what decision would feel right?
If I were 85, what would I wish I had done?
These questions don’t just help you decide whether to leave or stay. They allow you to reconnect with what truly matters right now.
When the Decision Isn’t Yours
Sometimes, the choice isn’t ours. Layoffs or unexpected changes can force us into transitions we didn’t choose. If that’s where you are right now, know this:
A job doesn’t define your worth. And endings—especially the ones we don’t anticipate—can be the start of something better.
Here are some questions to guide your next steps:
What did this role teach me about my strengths, values, and aspirations?
If I could design my next chapter without limitations, what would it look like?
What opportunities might this change open up that I wouldn’t have pursued otherwise?
Who in my network can I contact for support, advice, or new possibilities?
This moment may feel uncertain, but it can also be a turning point. Give yourself space to process—and permission to explore what’s possible. Trust that this transition is leading you somewhere meaningful.
Resilience Is About YOUR Choice
Resilience isn’t just about pushing through—it’s about recognizing when change is the challenge you need.
It’s about knowing when to re-engage with fresh energy and when to let go.
It’s about making choices that align with your growth, not just your comfort.
So, what’s the choice in front of you today?
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